Current mood:	worried
Current music:	The Sundays - Can't Be Sure

What am I doing....?
So I'm in England now. What a month...I've gone from drinking and shopping here...




...to Norwich,UK...cobble stoned streets, chavs, bad showers, bland food and not a friend for miles. One month ago I was washing my laundry in a bucket outside the Chikatula's house, the family I stayed with in Zambia. When I left, I travelled across the border to Malawi, flew to Ethiopia, flew to London, decided suddenly to fly home to Toronto to surprise my mum on her birthday, stayed three weeks and now here I am in Norwich. For a boy, no less.

I don't usually do things 'for' boys. I still don't consider this to be 'for' him. It was a combination of things. I met Stu in Africa. We travelled together for nearly 9 months. Slept in a tent, dug our truck out of mud and sand, cooked on campfires...we've seen more of each other than most couples. But we've never seen each other or experienced real life together, so I thought I'd give it a go.

But now I'm having a bit of a freak-out. This always happens. Once I get to a point in a relationship were a guy really, really seems to like me, I start wondering why. I start thinking there must be something wrong with him to like 'me' so much. So I start finding things wrong with a guy and then they start annoying me and then I start trying to find ways to get out of the relationship. I've only been here three days now and I keep worrying that he'll do something crazy soon, like say 'i love you!' That scares the hell out of me.

I'll stick it out though. Norwich is quite nice actually. I've been craving a bit of stability since I've pretty much been travelling for four years straight with few breaks. And I'll avoid the brutal Toronto winter. And my two closest friends will also be away from the city so I won't feel like I'm missing them as much...

Okay....must start job hunting....